Adult chat in spanish video & Adult dating free online sex: Trial & Triumph

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slavefarmer: Owned.

slavefarmer:

Owned.

Ellen von UnwerthHalskrause, 2010

Ellen von Unwerth
Halskrause, 2010

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"A beautiful thing is never perfect."

"A beautiful thing is never perfect."

- Egyptian Proverb (via eclecticalexandria)

I'm "not" missing You… ღ

I'm "not" missing You… ღ

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submissivetosir: pet's Sir ordered Monday ritual.

submissivetosir:

pet's Sir ordered Monday ritual.

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fortheloveofasub: herliege: Nothing There are times when D/s...

fortheloveofasub:

herliege:

Nothing

There are times when D/s may seem an action-packed affair, filled with sex and sensation, blow jobs and spanking, kinky toys, you name it. And to be sure these are the kind of things people will associate with the dynamic. These are the 'games' many crave.

A sub may long to be tied, flogged, shackled, used and degraded and fucked senseless while hanging upside down from the rafters. And then there is this rampant male libido just aching to be satisfied. This Dom who needs to wave his whip around and make use of his submissive's services in every imaginable way, around the clock.

No matter how hard we try we cannot keep that up 24/7. And it is not what defines a Dom and a sub. There is so much more. And if we are willing to let it, beautiful things can happen by doing absolutely nothing.

Imagine if you will how he lays her down, naked, no restraints, no distractions, nothing but a blank ceiling to stare at. His beautiful work of art. Sits down out of her line of sight and takes her in. Watches, listens to her breathing, watches her chest rise and fall. She breathes, eventually stops waiting for something even, slowly her mind goes blank, there is nothing to do, no words, no sounds, there is nothing.

But he is there. And his eyes on her skin, traveling up and down her body, she feels it as a gentle caress perhaps, touching toes and fingers, inch after inch of her skin, touched by nothing but his gaze. His gaze is causing the goosebumps to appear as it travels along her thighs, takes in her belly, her breasts move with her breathing. Perhaps moving a little more rapidly now she feels his eyes cover, claim, possess every inch of her, slowly, but so very surely. She may feel her spine extend in his direction, or a tug at the base, pulled down, grounding her almost. Of course it his mind that makes these things happen, the imperceptible shift in her hips, the way her nipples react to the caress of his gaze, his mind, his will taking possession of every inch of her body. And her mind.

She has let him in and he has taken over. He owns her, all of her, holds her in the palm of his proverbial hand. Her every breath and movement are his. And she may even find it hard to move unless he says so. And yet, they have done, are doing nothing. There is no magic here, no tricks. Nothing except a deep connection, a beautiful form and feeling of domination and submission. By 'doing' absolutely nothing. This is the power of the mind, his will. It is the strongest tool a Dom has. This is complete control, and complete surrender.

And all by doing 'nothing'.

…

M. / Her Liege

original image: Marius Filipoiou

fortheloveofasub: herliege: Cracks Over the years, I have...

fortheloveofasub:

herliege:

Cracks

Over the years, I have listened to many accounts and stories from women, young and not so young, who were hurt in D/s relationships or because of a breakup of such a bond.

Many of these women relate of an immense sense of emptiness felt sometimes for months even years after the relationship ended.

Now we often talk of the depth of emotion and commitment these relationships require, and it is clear that this makes any breakup, whether amicable or not, exceedingly painful and difficult. Yes, more painful than an average 'vanilla' breakup.

But there is more. In this kind of relationship, a submissive invests immense amounts of time and energy into pleasing her Dom, he has been her entire life to the point where it would have seemed an obsession to an outsider. It is to a large extent inherent in the D/s bond.

She takes direction, accepts guidance, lets another rule her life completely, and in the meantime happily fulfills her deepest needs.
In doing so, in opening herself entirely to her Dom, it is inevitable that she becomes dependent on his guidance and thus vulnerable. Not just in a romantic and sexual way, but also in her everyday life, in everyday activities, in every single thing she does. Everything she does carries her Dom's mark. This is the way of the 24/7 D/s connection.

So when this connection fails, when this bond is broken, and regardless of the cause, the sub loses so much more than a lover, a partner. In addition to the heartbreak and potential sense of betrayal, she loses the focal point of her entire life, the direction, and the voice that guided every single thing she did. And yes, make no mistake, even a relationship of only a few weeks or months can have such a devastating effect.

It is a void, a sense of being lost, that is almost impossible to comprehend. And few subs in this situation have someone available who will understand just how immense this loss is. Of course the one person they have relied on for everything is gone, which only exacerbates the problem. This takes time, there is no quick fix, of course, no recipe for aftercare in this.

Subs going through these things often describe themselves as damaged goods, 'nobody will want me anymore' or 'I wasn't a good sub'. A hole left behind that cannot be fixed. It is a big hole to be sure and not one easy to fix. [Rushing into the next relationship, accepting the nearest collar on offer, while often so very tempting, is not the way to fix it, by the way. It is, generally speaking, a recipe for disaster.]

What is needed is a way to fill the hole. And it starts much like recovery after any other heartbreak. But because of the D/s dynamic, the biggest obstacle and at the same time most important thing is for a sub to take charge of her own life again. The all-encompassing nature of the D/s relationship and the inherent dependence on another's guidance can make this so very difficult.

Of course an understanding ear and supporting hand can make a difference, sometimes a big difference. But what is needed is for the sub to find deep inside herself that same strength it took to kneel and use it to get back on her feet again. There is no Dom with a paddle around, so she may need to kick her own behind.

It is entirely possible that a few cracks refuse to go away. Permanent marks left behind. Accept them, learn from them, they are part of a magnificent work of art in the making. Use them as the building blocks they are. Some of the greatest beauty is found in the acceptance and celebration of the flaws and imperfection in life.

I am not sure why I was suddenly contacted by a few people going through this kind of turmoil recently, but I appreciate that people trust me with their stories. Reaching out, acknowledging the hurt is the first step. Finding the strength to do without the presence and guidance of a dominant other in your life is next. And then focus all that magnificent strength on moving forward. This is hard, but the strength required is already there. Use it, build on it. And move forward. Beautiful cracks and all.

..

M. / Her Liege

image: Annet van der Voort

I would insert my usual gender disclaimer here, but I'm not sure it applies. However, I do not wish to exclude anyone, so feel free to read other gender indicators as applicable.